So, today was the last day of NJCon, and it was the day that Jared and Jensen were at the con. I had honestly forgotten -- it had nothing to do with the Ghostfacers, so my level of actual care was very low.
"Not being heard is no reason for silence."-- Victor Hugo
Until the wank started.
(for those reading my blog who don't know what wank is, it's basically this: someone does something somebody else doesn't like, and that winds up making certain people upset, and fighting breaks out fandomwide. It's gross and awful and tends to wind up with everyone in the wrong, though not this time.)
Because, at a Jared and Jensen panel, a girl got up and did something super difficult for a lot of people -- she opened up her question by saying she was bisexual.
And you know what the crowd did, before she could hardly get any further than that?
They boo'd her.
According to someone who wrote about it after having watched the video:
"for those who can’t bring themselves to watch the vid or who did but couldn’t hear/understand:
the fan’s like ‘hi, I really love your character (bla bla) - I’m bisexual and (starts getting distorted bc there is a loud reaction to this, something about subtext in the show)’
once the crowd has died down, jensen says ‘really? the FIRST question?’
it’s plainly directed at the fan, like damn I was hoping to get through this w/o your queer shit and it was the first question asked (like I don’t want to skew your interpretation but lbr buddy)
then jensen says ‘you want me to take back what I said about the east coast’ or something bc wow just keep going, arsewipe
the fan says ‘I didn’t mean any disrespect’
and it ends with jensen saying ‘I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was’
now, if you still wanna put up with this pos that’s your prerogative but like don’t talk to me about him ever
edit: lmao he also says ‘don’t ruin it for everybody now’ and it’s pretty clearly directed towards her, not y’know the whole room who is booing and laughing at her"
And it's super, super gross.
As a queer woman myself (I identify mainly as pansexual, though I could lean in any direction at any time), I'm really offended by Jensen's behavior here.
Does the man not know the size of his queer female fanbase?
And then the fandom took the incident and turned it into a fighting point for, of all things, shipping discussion. I'm not sorry to say that this is absolutely unbelievable.
Wanting Dean to be bisexual isn't necessarily a "shipping thing," which seems to be the major defense of the large portion of the fandom that's decided to side with Jensen and the booing crowd here are using.
I, as a queer woman, don't give a damn about whether Destiel is the mode by which Dean's bisexuality is demonstrated, or if the ship ever dances over the line into canon. I just give a damn that Dean is made explicitly bisexual rather than an amalgamation of queerbaiting and otherwise well-rounded character-writing.
Because women like me, we don't get to see ourselves as the main character or the hero. Queer people don't get to be the hero in shows like Supernatural. We get to be Lily (dead, first one in the episode), or Corbett (died a hero for "gay love [to] pierce the veil of death"), or Damien and Barnes or the Chief (a joke). Every now and then, we get to be Charlie (the sidekick, the hip vanguard character meant to say that 'nope, we're not heterosexist asshats, whatever could you mean??'), but that's rare enough that I've previously called her a miracle on my fandom blog.
But we never get to be the protagonist. Because it's "not that kind of show."
Like fuck it isn't.
How dare anyone tell me that having a canonically queer main character should be relegated to just queer-aimed dramas? Because that what we get in the end. We get that, or we get Glee. Neither of those are acceptable, in the end, because you know what?
Not all queer people fit into those neat little boxes society has prescribed for us. We don't all fit the stereotypes that we get thrust upon us. We're messy, we're angry -- some of us are screwed up, and not just because we're queer. We have stories to tell that aren't all about how we're queer.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want you to see my story, or what the media wants you to think is my story, and think that my life revolves around my queerness and that it sucks.
My queerness is part of who I am, sure, and it's a pretty big part, and society sure as shit isn't conducive to me living a happy life while queer. But that's not my whole life, so why should all the stories about people like me be like that?
I want bisexual Dean because bisexual Dean would be the kind of representation people like me need. It's the next step from where we are, and I don't think it's a step that we shouldn't be ready to take.
For me, outing Dean as bi is a lot more important than any ship could ever be.
And what both the crowd and Jensen did at this panel is unacceptable, and the conduct of the fandom afterward is just as bad.
Because what that girl was asking about? Was her interpretation of the character -- an interpretation she undoubtedly makes for reasons a lot like mine.
And this fandom and the actors it's in love with shut her down.
They silenced her at the con and condemned her for her interpretation of Dean, and then the fandom went on to say that she deserved what she got because she made Jensen uncomfortable.
I say she did the right thing. I say that making people uncomfortable is the first step to making them listen. I'm white, and dealing with race and racism-related issues makes me deeply uncomfortable because I know I benefit from centuries of oppression and pain, and I don't know what I still need to unlearn. But if someone approaches me about a race-related thing, I don't shut them down. I listen. Because that's the only way the world changes -- when someone speaks up, and someone else listens.
If girls like the one at this con never stood up and spoke because they were afraid of being shamed, then nothing ever changes.
This girl tried to start the dialogue. The fandom and Jensen Ackles shut her down.
And that? That's fucking gross as hell.
In closing, I want to give my regards to this girl. I want her to know that she was incredibly brave going up there in the first place, announcing her sexuality to a room full of strangers, and trying to use it as a platform to ask a question that is obviously important to her. Miss, I don't know your name, or even your online handle, but you're one of my heroes in fandom, and I hope the shit people are stirring up about what you tried to ask doesn't get to you. You, and all of us, deserve much better, and someday, if we keep asking, keep demanding, we're going to get it.
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